A funny for you!

Yesterdays post was a little sad, so today I have posted a funny for you. It certainly cheered me up so if, like me, you have had both a cat and a dog in your home, you will appreciate just how true this could be! :)

EXCERPTS FROM THE DOG'S DAILY DIARY

8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favourite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favourite!
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favourite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favourite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favourite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favourite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favourite!
5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favourite!
5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favourite!
6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favourite!

EXCERPTS FROM THE CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 283 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Cretins!* There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...